Is obsession good or bad?
...let me lay the ground for our conversation
Let's start at the beginning.
This newsletter is my place to explore the greatest tool I have; my relationship with obsession. To set us up for the conversation, allow me in this article to lay the groundwork for how people perceive the word and concept of obsession.
I simply asked AI…
What is the real meaning of obsession? An obsession is an unhealthy and persistent preoccupation with an idea, feeling, or person. It can also refer to the thought or feeling itself.
Characteristics of an obsession
An obsession is intrusive and unwanted
It's a disturbing concern that can't be put out of mind
It can cause significant anxiety and stress
It can lead to compulsive behaviors
I asked AI to give me an image that felt like obsession and this is what I got.
Okay, so it’s obvious that by and large humanity summarizes obsession as a negative. That tracks with the feelings and memories of my younger life and where I grew up. An only child in Columbia Tennessee who wasn’t interested in the same things others were interest in, which I saw as going along to get along. Nope. They went left, I went right. They went up, I went down. I can vividly remember the moment my very first obsession took root. The ocean. My dad said from the first moment I saw Jacques Cousteau’s little red hat, I was locked in. That lock in was, and still is, the platform by which learning and growth happen for me. Rarely in a classroom.
I know I am not alone here. For many of us, the classroom was rarely where we were able to bond deeply enough to an idea or a concept to take it in and absorb it. I still have re-occurring nightmares of math class. Just numbers on a paper; it never went in.(<- Not sure what this means)
Now let’s explore what some of the greatest minds in history thought about obsession.
Friedrich Nietzsche suggested that obsession can be a powerful force, surpassing meaning, goals, or visions by occupying the entire mind. He associated obsession with chaos, which he believed was necessary for creativity and transformation, famously stating, “You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star”
Norman Mailer criticized obsession as “the single most wasteful human activity,” highlighting its cyclical nature and lack of resolution
Marcus Aurelius, the Stoic philosopher and emperor, advocated for detachment from external desires and obsessions. He argued that true contentment comes from focusing on inner virtues like wisdom, justice, and moderation, rather than being consumed by transient material or emotional attachments.
I agree with all these statements, although I wish the Sstoics had taken it a step further. Is obsession a gateway to passion? I believe it is. For me, obsession is the wheel that spins to create the emotion of passion over time. Aurelius cuts emotion completely out of the equation, and although messy, I believe emotion is essential in my formula. For many of us (neurospicy or not), obsession is the only way to create a focus that is significant enough to bond one to a concept or idea. It can be as simple as starting to run everyday and eventually becoming a marathon runner while also holding down a 9-5 job that simply pays the bills. I believe it can be argued that the setting of goals and completion of them IS obsession.
So does that mean obsession is simply commitment? No, it’s something much deeper. In this way perhaps Mailer has a point. Much of obsession is cyclical in nature with lack of resolution. BUT, for many of us, it is that constant loop that eventually provides the genesis. The veritable “dog with a bone” concept.
So lets hone in on that word unhealthy as it relates to the definition of obsession, because I think it’s really important to accept that yes, it’s part of the process. The madness that can occur as one locks into the loop, can spin into many unhealthy habits and emotions. The continued repetition of a thought or idea is a process. Personally this is my favorite part (and yes it drives some people close to me mad when I am in this state). What no one discusses is how you can bring awareness and control to this part of the process while you move your obsession forward into an idea, a goal or even a business.
Am I simply confusing obsession with passion here? I don’t think so. As Webster defines passion, “a strong and barely controllable emotion.” I would argue that obsession rides sidecar to passion. They work hand in hand.
I find this next set of graphs fascinating: the two words OBSESSION and PASSION with use of the word over time. Food for thought friends.
I’ll end today’s newsletter by telling you this, if you don’t already know, that at 40 years old with zero experience in the food world or hospitality, I decided to teach myself the then deeply cloaked art of making Japanese ramen, and turned it into a business.
So tell me, how do you feel about obsession?